Another negative pregnancy test. Another period. Another reminder that for whatever reason, we cannot get pregnant. . . I sometimes wish there was a video camera to show the nightmare that is #infertility. How after the first sighting of a new period that I somehow have to muster up the courage to tell my husband that once again, we won't be pregnant this month. It's a scene all too familiar in my home. It is a scene that is followed by grief and utter heartbreak. Where my husband and I hold each other close as we mourn this unbearable journey. It is the part where we allow ourselves to release our pain and then try to figure out how we are going to pick ourselves back up and get through this. It is the part where I wipe away my tears, put on fresh makeup, and then go back out into the world and act like we haven't been bruised and broken from this fight. . . After each negative pregnancy test, I somehow gather the courage and the hope to try again. But after nearly 1200 days of trying, something inside changes. That hope that use to flow through my body so powerfully diminishes a little more each month. . . After this failed cycle, we have come to understand that our next step will require needles, hormones, and meds I cannot even pronounce. It is the step that requires even more physical, emotional, and financial strength. It is the step we were praying we would never need, but we are so grateful to have. . . But the truth is we are tired and we are drained. We are emotionally exhausted and scared out-of-our-minds. We never thought becoming parents would be this hard, and we never imagined our mountain to climb would be so large. . . I wish there were adequate words to express the deep heartache and frustration of infertility because my words never seem to do justice to all the heaviness in my heart. All I know is that nobody deserves this struggle, this fight. I have to believe there is a reason for this journey, and that somehow it will all be alright. ♡ | #super_pregnant007 📸: @nutritionbytara . . . . . . . . . #pregnancyjourney #pregnancyadvice #theeverymom #momsofinstagram #momcommunity #honestlyparents #motherhoodjourney #bumplife #pregnancyjourney

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